1 and all I don’t know how to say this. I could start by bragging. I could start by stating my name. I could even start by talking about my win at Survivor Series. Or I could simply do this (holds up World Title). That’s right, I did it! I defeated the ultimate fan hero. The number 1 superstar on YWWA. Graduation Bear! Now I stand before you a champion, a winner, and most of all a success. I have had the most successful week of glory that anyone can ever imagine. Last week her on Breakdown I had a classic as I successfully defended my Openweight title against both Golden Falcon and Perfection At It’s Best. Then on GCW I stood toe to toe and had an epic match and win over Stewie Griffin to retain my US Title. And then Sunday at Survivor Series I did not retain a title, I won a title. The World Title. And I did it by defying all odds. Now I stand here before you a success. But my outstanding week officially comes to an end tonight. Tonight I am going to fulfill my promise I made on Sunday. I won the World Title which means I owe you fans some bombshell news! And I will deliver. But 1st, allow me to relive my old World Title days by singing a lovely classic. I know you fans all remember this catchy tune so just because I am in this crappy town of Washington D.C. doesn’t mean I won’t allow you fans to sing along. Please stand on your feet, shout at the top of your lungs and sing….:
I am the psycho dude, I am the greatest man.
I am the psycho dude, I beat everyone I can.
I am the man who never falls,
I am the man better than all.
I am the psycho dude.
I am the psycho dude, the man who can’t be beat.
I am the psycho dude, I never face defeat.
When you face me, when I face you.
When you lose to me, and I beat you.
That’s when you’ll truly know
That I am the psycho dude.
Believe the Psycho Dude.
Thank you thank you. I know I was great wasn’t I? Where was I? Oh yeah! The epic news! This news has been history in the making. I want you all to remember this moment and remember where you are, what you are doing, where you have your fingers shoved up, and bask in this history in the making. Think back to 6 months ago. Back in July. Do you remember what happened then? I overthrew Justin’s reign as YWWA owner! Fans were shocked, some rejoiced, some were disgusted, but everyone was talking. Now what I did was build up a YWWA management empire to run the show. Make the matches. Do it all! At least that’s what you thought. I am for the 1st time in history going to reviel what no fan knows. I am the real, true, and only owner of YWWA! That’s right it’s always been me! I’ve made the matches, I booked the events, I signed the superstars, I pay the checks, and I am more important than anyone in this arena! I don’t care if a man drops dead of a heart attack in this arena I will still be the center of attention and all eyes will be on me! But what really captivates me is you fans and your stupidity. Think about it. How did I become the Openweight and US Champ? It’s not because I earned my shot to get those belts from Undisputed Jericho. It’s because when I saw that talentless hack having those titles I knew I could beat him and I gave myself that shot! Oh and King of the Ring! I put myself purposely against the easiest opponents I could find so that when it came time for the matches I advanced every single time. I mean, I am the King of the Ring, Mr. Hollywood, US Champ, Openweight champ, and World Champ. Even the greatest superstar alive could not accomplish that! Not even me when I am by myself. I gave myself everything I have today, and I personally think I deserve it.
Well ladies and gentlemen to start off what is sure to be 1 hell of a ruthless reign, I would love to call out someone very special. We have had a lot of history together, actually no history together. I tried to bless this person with the gift of being with me but she declined. So at this time I am commanding Tishelle Torture to get out here now! (she comes out after a few seconds and the fans cheer her). Tishelle my girl. Haven’t seen you in like forever. How have you been?
Tishelle: Just tell me what you want.
Me: You may be wondering why I have called you out. Well it’s because I don’t need to pretend that I’m not your boss anymore. So I no longer have to take how the fans will feel about you being gone into consideration. Now I see no title around your chubby waist, no passion for what you do in this ring, and I see no respect geared toward me once so ever! Now why on earth should I keep you here on YWWA?
Tishelle (begins to tear up) Don’t do this PD. Don’t do this. I know we have had our heat and I know how you can get, but I love this company. I love these fans. I love YWWA. Please don’t take it away from me.
Me: I personally see no reason why to keep you here. I think your nothing but a useless, worthless, pathetic whore! Tishelle you my friend are FIRED!
Tishelle: (bursts into tears and gets on knees) No PD please!
I love this place! No! no! no! no! no! PD don’t take it away! No!
ME: Get this tease out of my ring, and keep her out for good!(she gets led to the back by security) Well now that we got that piece of trash out of the way, wait! Are you fans actually upset? Damn! I can’t believe you’ll miss her. Oh well, I think all you fans need a joke to lighten your spirits. What’s a similar quality between tampons and Tishelle? They’re both stuck up bitche$! Well onto a lighter note allow me to advertise our next ppv. I can do this because as owner of YWWA I kicked G Bear out of the arena so I was able to drop this bombshell. So put down your G Bear signs, stop praying for him to come out, cause he wont. As I was saying, Survivor Series was a great success because of me, and our next ppv is Flashback. Flashback is a themed ppv of classic YWWA moments, matches, etc. relived. As for the (Justin comes out and fans cheer!)
What the hell are you doing here? Let me guess. Your out here to steel the spotlight am I right?
Justin: (shakes his head no)
Me: Oh. Hmmm, oh I know! Your out here to be the main event. You want YWWA to end with you standing in this ring, am I right?
Justin: (shakes his head no)
Me: Ok enough fun and games. I know why you are out here. You came for YWWA! Well I’m telling you now Justin, you are not, will not, and will never get what is now MY company back. Do you hear me. You are not getting YWWA back! You never wi(Justin grabs mic)
Justin: I didn’t come for YWWA. I came for the world title
I look shocked and Justin begins striking me down and knocks me out of the ring to end YWWA.